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Apparently Everyone Got Up At Dawn To Watch The Mandalorian Except You

“There is only one way to watch Star Wars. And that is alone before dawn, half-asleep, squeezing it in before you have to shower for work.”

Wolverine Doesn’t Understand Why Vaccine Made From His Blood Taking So Long (Bub)

“This usually takes a few hours, tops,” Wolverine said to the press. “I’ve cured stuff before it’s even happened. What’s taking so long!”

2020 Officially Bleak Enough to Be Part of The DCEU

"When it became apparent that 2020 was filled with gloom and very little happiness we knew it’d be perfect to join DC's slate of projects."

Jason Todd Can’t Emphasize Enough How Important It Is To Vote

"I didn’t bother to vote once and man, those results felt like a crowbar to the face, and then a bomb to the remaining parts of my body.”

The Walking Dead Somehow Both Renewed and Cancelled at the Same Time

“I think what fans are going to really love is that it’s legally different from The Walking Dead flagship show." (Satire)

Batman Tests Positive For Covid Despite Claiming To Have Been Self-Isolating His Entire Life

Batman told reporters, "I let the Robins live with me but I always keep a safe distance from them, both physically and emotionally.”

PETA Protests Dune Over Sandworm Mistreatment

"These gentle creatures went from a peaceful existence making spice in the desert to being corralled by the hundreds for a movie." (Satire)

Senator Kelly Condemns Mutant Protestors That Attacked The Robots Sent To Kill Them

“Yes, when it comes to Sentinels there are a few bad apples in the bunch, but I don’t know the rest of that expression.” (Satire)

DC Announces New Director For The Snyder Cut

We have word from Warner Bros that the Snyder Cut of Justice League will indeed be released, with a new director at the helm. (Satire)

New Mutants Cast Reunites to Celebrate 20 Years of Movie Not Being Released Yet

“I guess this might come out sometime,” said the official Marvel Entertainment Twitter account. (Satire)

My Dinner With Deathstroke

Intrepid journalist Jimmy Olsen sits down with Mr. Stroke to discuss his recent career moves. (Satire)

The Rock prepares for role of Black Adam by developing seven mythical super powers

"He seems a little confused about how method acting works." (Satire)

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